8 Comments
Published by Jeff
on Wednesday, July 11, 2007 at 9:16 AM. 
I just completed a series (and I use the term "just" loosely) on the search for God. You can read or review it by scrolling down and work yourself back up. As a result, I was asked by Michelle what Jesus meant to me. As she put it, "you've written this great argument where everyone gets to tell their opinion of Jesus, except you. I'd have liked to have heard what Jesus means to you, even more than hearing what Jesus meant to Pliny, St Paul or.. you get the idea.
What is Jesus to you? How do you feel about him? Never mind the logic and the reasoning - what makes Him important just to Jeff and Jeff's life?"
Before starting my new direction of where I am taking this blog, I thought I would address those questions. I get uncomfortable when talking about what Jesus means to me. I guess the reasons for that are a bit convoluted in my mind. You see, I am a hypocrite. I sing the praises of my Lord, then get caught up in my own life - despite knowing better. That simply makes me uncomfortable. However, I know that I am in good company. We are ALL hypocrites! It is in our human nature. So, if you ever hear anyone say that they don't want to go to church because of all the hypocrites there, ask them if it is better to stay away from church with all the hypocrites. At least in church (good ones, anyway), we are reminded of our hypocrisy and told to shun it. But, I digress.
What makes me a hypocrite just because I get caught up in my own life? As a Christian, I have basically given up my rights to my own life. As '80's rock group, Degarmo and Key put it on their 1989 single The Pledge, "He died for me; I'll live for Him". This pledge is what Christians take, even if it is just silently and spiritually. I sing the praises of Christ at the top of my lungs and with the strokes of these keys, yet I spend too much time worrying about my lot in life with marriage and finances. It sickens me.
In my other blog, Psychosomatic Wit, I do a weekly exercise called "NEWSFLASH". In the last installment of it (NEWSFLASH #6), I wrote, "I have been getting too caught up in my life situations lately. When I think about worrying about my wife not bringing in any money with two mortgages to pay, etc., I feel so hypocritical. I either trust in God, or I don't. No matter what the circumstance, things really shouldn't distract me so much. I mean, I only have 40 or 5o years (barring accidents and fatal disease) left on this planet. I can put up with ANYTHING for 40 years. I think about Jesus and HIS world. He just came to offer Himself up. He didn't claim ANY life for Himself. I can't live without a car or financial stress for a while? What a hypocrite I am."
Some people may have thought that the "I can put up with ANYTHING for 40 years" was a little tongue-in-cheek. It wasn't. As a Christian, 40, 80, or even 100 years is just a drop in the bucket compared to eternity. Jesus came from the bosom of the Father, just to die so his body can become a bridge between God and man. He didn't fuss about a car. He didn't even worry if Mary Magdalene had a crush on him (despite recent pieces of fiction). He just came to bridge the gap. During that mission, Jesus healed the sick, fed the poor, and comforted the mourning. If He had more years, He would have done so much more for the people of that time. Since He died for me, I should live for Him - be His hands and feet. I should help people find that bridge and extend love. I do those things, but not the way I should.
Don't get me wrong. That doesn't mean that I live in guilt. I don't. It is just sometimes uncomfortable to hide in darkness when His light shines in my soul to expose it. Fortunately, the life I must live is laid out before me with the strength of God to take me through it. That is the hope that I wouldn't have if I didn't know 
Christ.
Christ.What does Jesus mean to me? He means life. He means hope and strength. He means total sacrifice. It is a good thing that He also exemplifies forgiveness, because that is what I need, each day, each hour, each minute. And I have it so He also means joy beyond any circumstance - when I let it shine.
The disease of self runs through my blood
Like a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control
What's going on inside of me
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a savior
--Charley Peacock ("In the Light")
Labels: Christianity, Jesus, life, sacrifice
Well said Jeff. This is a very hard question and you answered it really well.
:-) I smiled the whole way through. That was just beautiful.
Some spiritual synchronicity for you..
http://druidjournal.net/word-of-the-day/2007/07/12/savior/
In spite of some of it's more beautiful tenets, I've always disliked Buddhism, because it advocates detaching oneself from life, from anything meaningful to you in that life. I worry that Christianity mirrors that concept when we take trust in God and turn it into a judgment on ourselves when we are unwilling or unable to totally abandon concern for our worldly cares.
Am I saying you shouldn't put your trust in the Lord? Of course not. But I'm also hesitant to tell you that a responsible husband and father shouldn't carry some concern for his family, including the family finances or any other matter where he has stewardship AND the power to directly affect their situation. Don't beat yourself up too much for thinking and worrying and refusing to just throw concern away - this is our life, and we need to live it as well as look beyond it. Isn't that all part of the 'all we can do" that makes Christ's grace so miraculous?
Mother Hen: Thanks. It is a difficult question.
Michelle and Michelle: All for you, Michelle. :) That was kind of interesting with the druidjournal link. Thanks for that.
Chosha: There is a fine line, isn't there? There is a difference to me between having concern about life's events and responsibilities and becoming obsessed with worry over it. Would Jesus have me be apathetic about my family and finances? Absolutely not. Even on the cross, Jesus was providing for His mother when He assigned the disciple John to take on His role as son and provider.
What I am talking about is the hopelessness that comes with adversity. That is what makes me hypocritical. I know and should constantly put in practice that if I trust and obey Him, that things will go how they MUST go.
" . . . seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness; and all these things will be added unto you." MATT 6:33
Hi Jeff. I found your link over at KB's place and thought I'd pop over. Yep...I'll be back. Great thoughts here.
"ask them if it is better to stay away from church with all the hypocrites"
Oooo, I'll be borrowing THAT line. (um...you don't have a copywrite on it or anything do you?) ;-)
"I think about Jesus and HIS world. He just came to offer Himself up. He didn't claim ANY life for Himself."
And yet He had the most fulfilling, purposeful, and adventurous life that was ever lived! Personally, I think that's what scares many of us away from going after our spiritual lives with the fervor we know God has placed in us, myself included.
"It is just sometimes uncomfortable to hide in darkness..."
Um...when it IS comfortable to hide there, you may want to call a brother and have a good "open up" session. ;-)
Unfortunately though, I can relate to that sentence.
Great post, Jeff. I'll plop a link to your place on my sidebar sometime this week.
Danny Kaye: I am glad you stopped by. Not too many people come to this blog and I am a little lax in keeping up with it.
Thanks for the link. I will have to stop by and check your blog out.