2 Comments
Published by Jeff
on Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at 10:00 AM. 
The secret of dealing with anger is putting the things that cause your anger in perspective. Anger CAN be a good thing, but most often it is not. It is good if it motivates you to do something positive as a result of it. However, the other outcomes of anger are harmful. One can stew in their anger and put stress on their minds and bodies. Or, anger can motivate people to do something DEstructive. So, if you play the odds, the best thing to do is to let go of it.
That is where perspective comes in. I am having trouble with finances right now. That makes me upset and angry if I allow it to. The first thing we like to do is blame. I could blame my wife. She had a part in it, by quitting a job, being unemployed for months, and then taking only a part-time job when she did go back to work. On top of that, she spends too much, in my opinion.
I could blame God. He could arrange it so I would get a heavy winfall from someplace.
Or, the most painful, I could blame myself. Blaming the self is the least likely place people target in the blame game. We like to be victims, don't we? If someone else is doing something to us, we don't have near the hit on the ego and we can fantasize that if life was fair, we would be happy.
I would say blaming God is the most prevalent of the targets we have. There SEEMS to be no negative outcome. We don't have to deal with the friction blaming someone in our lives would cause; we wouldn't have to deal with self-worth and all the ugliness and pain that goes with that, either. No, we build a straw man (God) and blame Him. That way we get to blame, but do not suffer the physical consequence of it.
There are spiritual consequences, however. Oh, it isn't that God will punish us for blaming Him. He is bigger than that - and more loving. No, instead we separate ourselves further from the only One that can really help us with the problem, or the peace we need as a result of the problem. More importantly than that, we separate ourselves from a life of grace and communion with our Creator.
So, I let the anger go by putting it into perspective. I try to discover the actual source of the problem, not to blame, but to gain understanding. With understanding, comes peace. I, then, look at how things could be worse. I praise God that I have the blessings that I DO. I pray that I will see, understand, and learn from the trial - that I may be better as a result of it and that I will shine as a result of this "polishing".
The secret of dealing with anger is putting the things that cause your anger in perspective. Anger CAN be a good thing, but most often it is not. It is good if it motivates you to do something positive as a result of it. However, the other outcomes of anger are harmful. One can stew in their anger and put stress on their minds and bodies. Or, anger can motivate people to do something DEstructive. So, if you play the odds, the best thing to do is to let go of it.That is where perspective comes in. I am having trouble with finances right now. That makes me upset and angry if I allow it to. The first thing we like to do is blame. I could blame my wife. She had a part in it, by quitting a job, being unemployed for months, and then taking only a part-time job when she did go back to work. On top of that, she spends too much, in my opinion.
I could blame God. He could arrange it so I would get a heavy winfall from someplace.
Or, the most painful, I could blame myself. Blaming the self is the least likely place people target in the blame game. We like to be victims, don't we? If someone else is doing something to us, we don't have near the hit on the ego and we can fantasize that if life was fair, we would be happy.
I would say blaming God is the most prevalent of the targets we have. There SEEMS to be no negative outcome. We don't have to deal with the friction blaming someone in our lives would cause; we wouldn't have to deal with self-worth and all the ugliness and pain that goes with that, either. No, we build a straw man (God) and blame Him. That way we get to blame, but do not suffer the physical consequence of it.
There are spiritual consequences, however. Oh, it isn't that God will punish us for blaming Him. He is bigger than that - and more loving. No, instead we separate ourselves further from the only One that can really help us with the problem, or the peace we need as a result of the problem. More importantly than that, we separate ourselves from a life of grace and communion with our Creator.
So, I let the anger go by putting it into perspective. I try to discover the actual source of the problem, not to blame, but to gain understanding. With understanding, comes peace. I, then, look at how things could be worse. I praise God that I have the blessings that I DO. I pray that I will see, understand, and learn from the trial - that I may be better as a result of it and that I will shine as a result of this "polishing".
Labels: christian living, finding God, grace, self examination
3 Comments
Published by Jeff
on Thursday, October 18, 2007 at 9:06 AM.
It is easy to get full of yourself. You look around and think, "I don't live like THAT guy," or "I would never do what SHE did." We look around to justify are own wretchedness.
"Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax man. The Pharisee posed and prayed like this: 'Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man over here. I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.'
It is easy to get full of yourself. You look around and think, "I don't live like THAT guy," or "I would never do what SHE did." We look around to justify are own wretchedness.God did not call us to be better than our neighbors; He called us to be perfect. Don't misunderstand; He doesn't expect us to be perfect. No, He just wants us to admit that we aren't and we cannot be in His presence without His grace - no matter how good we think we are.
What do we do instead? What have I caught MYSELF doing? I rest on my "good deed" laurels or my so-called pious living. My life is not THAT pious and my very best "righteous cloak" is a mere filthy rag to God.
Jesus told a story to some who were complacently pleased with themselves over their moral performance and looked down their noses at the common people:
"Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax man. The Pharisee posed and prayed like this: 'Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people--robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man over here. I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.'
Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, 'God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.'"
Jesus commented, "The tax man, not the Pharisee, went home made right with God. If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face, but if you're willing to accept who you are AND God's grace, you will become more than you are."
(Edited from The Message [a Bible paraphrase])
I have known that story for years. I have believed that I understood it and lived it. I guess I will always struggle to grasp it because here I am in another fight with myself over it.
"Several years ago Dr. (Billy) Graham was interviewed on PrimeTime Live. He was sitting somberly in a chair when the last question came his way: "What do you want people to say about you when you're gone?" His response took many by surprise. "I don't want people to say anything about me. I want them to talk about my Savior. The only thing I want to hear is Jesus saying, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant.'" Then he bowed his head and said softly, "But I'm not sure I'm going to hear that." It was a rare but honest look into the true nature of Billy Graham's heart. In spite of all he's done for the work of the Kingdom, he still sees himself unworthy of God's commendation"
(from Embracing Eternity by Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins and Frank M. Martin)
I should be so humble. So what are my sins? They are too many to list. One obvious one is having the impudence to think that anything I write here should be considered important enough to post to the public. Such audacity! I harbor a lot of things in my heart that I can't seem to purge. I have a friend that always talks about his son. I hate his son's name. It is too pansy for me. If I could just have an opinion and desert it, it would be okay. However, it is everything I can do to NOT say something about it. Why!?! Only by the grace of God have I not hurt my friend with this nonsense.
My wife was in a depressed mood today. Although I presented myself as sympathetic, my wretchedness was making a speech to my psyche, "How dare her be in this mood now!? She has used up all the rights for her depression by now. You deserve peace, not this wife-manufactured hardship!"
Oh, wretched self.
These are just examples. Thoughts like this permeate my day - every day. Oh, wretched self!
All I can do is confess it and hand it over to the One that can handle it. Yet, I struggle to do that sometimes. One thing that haunts me is hearing from someone, "That's not fair!" Of course whatever the matter is unfair. We live in an unfair world where we don't often get what we deserve.
Thank God we don't, though, and thank God that we have grace.
Labels: grace, Jesus, self examination, Walk
3 Comments
Published by Jeff
on Friday, August 03, 2007 at 9:06 AM.
Have you ever listened to a song that you have heard a thousand times before, but it hits you suddenly like you have never heard it before? This has happened to me before and also today. I guess it is a matter of listening instead of hearing.
This is where some bloggers tend to list a whole song of lyrics for all to peruse. I am going to resist that urge and talk about a few things in the song instead - and yes, will probably include snippets of the lyrics. For some reason the whole song transcript thing just gets on my nerves.
The song in question is "I Need You to Love Me" by Barlow Girl. When I heard it today on the radio, I actually listened to every word. The tune and the sweetness of the harmony of the group's voices made it all the more bittersweet for me. It reminded me of my failures, but not in despair but in hope. It starts out this way:
Why, why are you still here with me
didn't you see what i've done?
In my shame i want to run and hide myself
But it's here i see the truth; I don't deserve you
Facing God in a situation like that is heart wrenching - if you believe that He is there. There is no place to hide. Yet, if you feel the mercy and the Grace, you know the only place you want to run is to Him.
After taking you down the road of self-examination, we are led in the chorus to facing the moment, our needs, and our lifeline:
But I need you to love me,
And I won't keep my heart from you this time
And I'll stop this pretending
That I can somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me
The last verse is what got me. It literally changed my state of being while driving to work:
I just never saw how you could cherish me
'Cause you're a god who has all things
And still you want me
I understand that if you don't have this kind of vision of God, that this song really has no meaning for you. I don't want to sound superior, but I really pity those who do not know God or even recognize His existance. Without Him, all you have are others who have their own agendas and all of them do not include you. People, every single one, will ultimately let you down. All you have left is yourself and if you are as honest as I am at this moment, you know how wretched you really are.
Where is the hope? The hope lies with the One that includes you in every agenda. The One who does not grade you at every turn and will not turn from you when you betray Him. Because if you aren't in a state of betrayal to the God who sacrificed for you right now, you will be in the future. You can't help yourself. And when you are, He will still be there taking your best shots. He can't help Himself, either. It is His nature.
I am sure I will be there again as the first verse describes, wondering why God is still there after knowing what I have done. It is knowing that He will be is what gets me through today.
This is where some bloggers tend to list a whole song of lyrics for all to peruse. I am going to resist that urge and talk about a few things in the song instead - and yes, will probably include snippets of the lyrics. For some reason the whole song transcript thing just gets on my nerves.
The song in question is "I Need You to Love Me" by Barlow Girl. When I heard it today on the radio, I actually listened to every word. The tune and the sweetness of the harmony of the group's voices made it all the more bittersweet for me. It reminded me of my failures, but not in despair but in hope. It starts out this way:
Why, why are you still here with me
didn't you see what i've done?
In my shame i want to run and hide myself
But it's here i see the truth; I don't deserve you
Facing God in a situation like that is heart wrenching - if you believe that He is there. There is no place to hide. Yet, if you feel the mercy and the Grace, you know the only place you want to run is to Him.
After taking you down the road of self-examination, we are led in the chorus to facing the moment, our needs, and our lifeline:
But I need you to love me,
And I won't keep my heart from you this time
And I'll stop this pretending
That I can somehow deserve what I already have
I need you to love me
The last verse is what got me. It literally changed my state of being while driving to work:
I just never saw how you could cherish me
'Cause you're a god who has all things
And still you want me
I understand that if you don't have this kind of vision of God, that this song really has no meaning for you. I don't want to sound superior, but I really pity those who do not know God or even recognize His existance. Without Him, all you have are others who have their own agendas and all of them do not include you. People, every single one, will ultimately let you down. All you have left is yourself and if you are as honest as I am at this moment, you know how wretched you really are.
Where is the hope? The hope lies with the One that includes you in every agenda. The One who does not grade you at every turn and will not turn from you when you betray Him. Because if you aren't in a state of betrayal to the God who sacrificed for you right now, you will be in the future. You can't help yourself. And when you are, He will still be there taking your best shots. He can't help Himself, either. It is His nature.
I am sure I will be there again as the first verse describes, wondering why God is still there after knowing what I have done. It is knowing that He will be is what gets me through today.
Labels: bojr, Christianity, grace, self examination
